The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy...

A hilarious memoir chronicles the adventures and misadventures of a woman whose perfect life, perfect job, and perfect man vanish when she goes from a six-figures career to unemployment. Original.

The second novel from the New York Times bestselling author of If You Were Here takes us back to the hair metal 80s. Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesnt understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped...beloved...feared. Present day, not so much. Shes been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband and kicked out of her condo. Now, at thirty-seven, shes struggling to start a business out of her parents garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was. Her present is miserable because of her past. But its not like she can go back in time and change who she was...or can she?

Watch a video The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughess movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

One would think that with her impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs Jen Lancaster would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. After all, shes no Martha Stewart. And thats why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of Americas overachieving older sisterthe woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Marthas media empire, Jen embarks on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next levelfrom closet organization to party planning.Maybe Jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Marthas dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Marthas laundry tips. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. Again. And maybe shell discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Marthas perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters.

A NOTE FROM JEN LANCASTER:"To whom the fat rollsIm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women cant possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I dont find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides dont matter. Unfortunately, being overweight isnt simply a societal issue that can be fixed with a dose healthy of positive self-esteem. Its a health matter, and here on the eve of my fortieth year, Ive learned I have to make changes so I dont, you know, die. Because what good is finally being able to afford a pedicure if I lose a foot to adult onset diabetes?"Watch a QuickTime trailer for this book.

Readers have followed New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now, in this bitter and witty memoir, Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. Jen uses any means necessary on her quest to better herself: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces. In Jens corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. But one things for certain: Eliza Doolittles got nothing on Jen Lancasterand failure is an option.

Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isnt all its cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites arent party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether shes reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesnt like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemiesfrom New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, shes spent the past decade embedded in the worlds hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jacks enemy list, shed not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe. Kitty reigns supreme over the world of carpools and minivans. A SAHM, she spends her days caring for her dentist husband and three towheaded children, running the PTA, and hiding vegetables in deceptively delicious packed lunches. Kitty and Jack havent a single thing in commonexcept for Sarabeth Chandler, their mutual bestie. Sarabeth and Jack can be tomboys with the best of them, while Sarabeth can get her girly-girl on with Kitty. In fact, the three of them were college friends until the notorious incident when Jack accidentally hooked up with Kittys boyfriend Yet both women drop everything and rush to Sarabeths side when they get the call that her fabulously wealthy husband has perished in a suspicious plane crash. To solve the mystery surrounding his death, Jack and Kitty must bury the hatchet and hit the road for a trip that just may bring them togetherif it doesnt kill them first.

New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster takes you from sorority house to penthouse to poorhouse in her hilarious memoir of living the sweet lifeuntil real life kicked her to the curb.She had the perfect man, the perfect jobhell, she had the perfect lifeand there was no reason to think it wouldnt last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when shes gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought shed never have to answer for when times were good.Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, its a rollicking read as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERNew York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, shes managed to document her (and her generations) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it allsometimes with disastrous resultsSure Jen has made mistakes. She spent all her money from a high-paying job on shoes, clothes, and spa treatments. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment office. She wrote a whole memoir about dietingbut didnt lose weight. She embarked on a quest for cultural enlightenment that only cemented her love for John Hughes movies and Kraft American Singles. She tried to embrace everything Martha Stewart, while living with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs. (Glittereverywhere.)Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another.After a girls weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she isyikes!middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day, even if that means having her tattoo removed at one hundred times the cost of putting it on.From attempting a juice cleanse to studying Italian, from learning to ride a bike to starting a new business, and from sampling pasta in Rome to training for a 5K, Jen is turning a mid-life crisis into a mid-life opportunity, sharing her sometimes bumpybut always hilariousattempts to better her lifeagain.

Jen Lancasters cultural inferiority complex had to come from somewhere...and now fans can find out where in this hilarious New York Times bestselling memoir from the author of Bitter is the New Black. Before she was bitter, before she was lazy, Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didnt know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine. In this hilarious and touching memoir, Jen Lancaster looks back on her lifeand wardrobeand reveals a young woman not so different from the rest of us. Prepare to take a long walk in her (drool-worthy) shoes in this humorous and heartwarming trip down memory lane.

The New York Times bestselling author of The Best of Enemies serves up a hilarious new novel of the sandwich generation. Actuary Penny Sinclair has a head for business, and she always makes rational decisions. Knowing that 60% of spouses cheat and 50% of marriages end in divorce, she wasnt too surprised when her husband had an affair. (That he did so with a woman their daughters age? Well, that part did sting a bit.) She just made sure she got everything in the divorce, including their lovely old Victorian house. And as soon as her younger daughter has her hipster-fabulous wedding in the backyard, shes trading it in for a condo in downtown Chicago... Well within the average market time in her area, Penny gets an offer on the house. But then life happens. Her children, her parents and her ex come flying back to the nest, all in need of Pennys emotionaland financialsupport. Spread thin, Penny becomes the poster child for the sandwich generation, when all she really wanted to do was make managing director, buy a white couch, and maybe go on a Match.com date...

A licensed psychologist who stars on the cable breakout show I Need a Push, Reagan Bishop helps participants become their best selves by urging them to overcome obstacles and change behaviors. An overachiever, Reagan is used to delivering results. Despite her overwhelming professional success, Reagan never seems to earn her familys respect. Her younger sister, Geri, is and always will be the Bishop family favorite. When a national network buys Reagans show, the pressure for unreasonably quick results and higher ratings mounts. Desperate to make the show work and keep her family at bay, Reagan actually listens when the shows New Age healer offers an unconventional solution.... Record Nielsen ratings follow. But when Reagan decides to use her newfound power to teach everyone a lesson about sibling rivalry, shes the one who will be schooled....

In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herselfand her generationa kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult shes become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities shes resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, shell uncover a valuableand probably humiliatinglife lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.